Best Cartoon Ever

As for food-related “Traditions”, however, Chili Night is the annual fixture that propels 12 beer-swilling, cigar-smoking duffers into a gastro-intestinal juggernaut that sends unsuspecting maids diving for the industrial strength Lysol upon entry of our newly napalmed accommodations.

While everyone does their best to contribute to the cornucopia of smells, one FGO veteran’s ability to rise above all others must be chronicled here if for no other reason than to God-willingly serve as the impetus to get him to see a doctor about this non-human talent.  Naturally the chance of this occurring is severely impinged by any or all of the following:

1. The phenomenon of not being able to fully appreciate the breadth of your prowess when blowing thy own ass.

2. The evil cousin of the above: a perverse pleasure one derives from making those who occupy the same space (or in his case city block) vomit in their mouth after each spritz of his man vapor.

3. The fact that he is a doctor!

In 2007 with our collective condo’s on the doorstep of “The Premier’s” #6 green, Night Chipping really hit its stride.  Planning for all future events now take into consideration access to night chipping.
The rules are  simple.  1.  It needs to be dark.  2. You need copious amounts of beer.  3.  Closest to the hole wins.  4.  Winner picks where the next chip will be hit from.  5. Repeat until 1. You run out of beer. 2. You are too drunk to stand.

Side betting is heavily encouraged.  Jaeger has been known to make an apperance.

The 3 foursomes are identified by virtue of your score in the position round: Best 4; Middle 4; Top of Mt. Suck 4.
We usually play on the cheapest, scraped-up 9-hole-muni we can find.
You can only carry 4 clubs.
One full cooler of beer, per foursome.
No coolers with shoulder straps.
You can carry an unlimited amount of balls/tees.
If you have the shortest drive on the first hole, you carry the beer.
If you lose the hole, you carry the beer.
You play until 1. You run out of beer or 2. It is just too dark to play
(which then segues into night chipping, the subject of another post…it also involves beer does not involve forced labor)
As a courtesy, drinking pace is encouraged to be 1:1 ratio beer:hole
If you are going to lose a hole, lose it late (the cooler is lighter)

• Ken is the only person to attend every FGO (14)

• Dan Bennett holds the record for brevity (2 holes, one swing)

• There have been 28 participants since 1995 (including Dano’s Ribcident and Tom Hanson’s 1-day replacement (Mugford) in 2005).

• The given-name “Tom” is the most popular participant moniker (Dobry, Giberson, Hanson, Hamilton)

• “Jim” is tied with “Mike” with 3 (Nuttal/Obberly/Jenkins; Reynolds/Keller/Kamish)

• There is only one “Shad” (the person, and the trophy)

In the immortal words of Young MC (with an assist from Flea) “w’ll break it down for ya fellas…”
Ken Regalado (14)
Tim Jones (13)
Mike Reynolds (12)
Shane Patterson (11)
Shad Patterson, Pat Sheposh (10) 
Tom Dobry, Jim Nuttal (8)
Tom Hamilton, Carl Mitroff (7)
Tom Giberson (6)
Tom Hanson (5)
Tony Nader (4)
Scott Thompson (3)
David Leider, Jim Obberly, Mark Salisbury, Greg Mince (2)
Tim Heitz, Mike Keller, George Monticello, Brain Clark, Mike Kamish, James Jenkins, Greg Giberson, Greg Kirchmeir (1)
Mugford (1 day, 2 rounds)
Dan Bennett (14 strokes)

Yo Boys:

Thought you’d appreciate a sneak preview of our set up at Garland.  Looks like all the comforts of a typical fall golf outing will be met.  As such, make sure you bring your bathing suit AND “A Game” for night chipping!

Also, please note that one lucky (or unlucky) group will get to move from their double villa to a fully adorned, two-bedroom condo (a.k.a. party central) after our first round on Sunday.  To make it fair, Jonesy and I agreed that first choice of staying put or moving will go to the position round winners, then revert to second place (in the event the winners choose to stay put) and so on!  To this end, position round foursomes will be made with villa roommates in mind (i.e. to keep scores on up and up no more than two roommates will be in a foursome) and the format will be the team’s two best balls w/ handicaps!

Speaking of handicaps, these are the “going in” numbers (as has been the case in years past, they will be adjusted after each play-your-own ball round to account for your game not being up to snuff), unless you can provide an official handicap that proves otherwise: